I paused the other day to take stock of my life. That is, I tried to take stock of my life. When I looked, my life wasn't there. It had been there that morning. If not that morning, I distinctly remember experiencing my life one afternoon last month. At the least, I'm sure it was around here sometime last spring.
I immediately began a search which would leave no stone unturned and no question unasked (except of course, "If you were in a car traveling the speed of light and you turned on the headlights, would it make a difference?". There is no real answer to that one and the valuable energy you waste searching for one could be spent doing something constructive, like fantasy football or searching for an honest politician).
Back to the search for my life. As I said, my life wasn't there. I was immediately suspicious. After all, it isn't something I would just misplace. I'm too used to picking it up whenever I need it. The only conclusion could be larceny. Some nefarious thief or greedy bureaucrat had made off with my life! The question is: WHY? It's not like they would instantly become popular, good-looking and successful. For that it would be necessary to steal George Clooney's life.
Suddenly, I remembered the last time I had experienced my life as I had come to know it. It was just before the committee meeting. It doesn't matter which committee. They are all the same in one respect. Nearly every committee gathering I have been a part of has done its best to sap every bit of creative energy and positive self-image I could muster.
You've been there. Maybe it was the budget committee or the decoration committee or the Committee for the Responsible Treatment of Self-Important Bureaucrats. Whatever it was, you were ignored, condescended to or openly opposed for having the audacity to propose a bold, creative idea that would have resolved all relevant issues in one fell swoop. After all, we've never done that before - therefore it just won't work.
Doesn't it make your jaw clench tighter than a Republican's wallet at a PBS fundraiser? I had always thought that the function of a committee was to bring into play a degree of creativity and energy impossible for a single person. Instead, the average committee seems compelled to find the lowest common denominator and sink to it with the speed of a televangelist asking for an offering. The result is not innovation, problem solving or a better way of life. It is, instead, just More Of The Same. Same discussion, same boredom, same "let's adjourn and go get barbecue."
Committees are bizarre animals. It seems that our society cannot function without them. Whenever we don't know what to do or when we do know what to do and don't want to do it, we form a committee. It's a great way to act responsibly without actually doing any work. The problem is that many of these committees feel that they have been granted divine right to rule over the rest of us. If they only realized that they would not exist without our consent, things might change. I might even get my life back. That may not be much to you, but its all I have. Perhaps we could form a special blue-ribbon fact finding committee to study the matter and report back at the next meeting.
That is, if we haven't all lost interest by then.
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